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Discover what you've missed!

Week One        Week Two        Week Three        Week Four

Week Five         Week Six

Week Seven:

Fair gossipmongers of the Grecian Hills alleyways, tragedy has struck the populous of the once closely-knit community. The unity that was once taken for granted is now a tremulous trust so easily broken by human nature. For once the citizens find themselves united by fractures felt so clearly throughout the community. The only appropriate title for this episode might be, "Discovery, Disillusion, and Dissolution."

First of all, get your tissues out, for there surely will not be a dry keyboard in the house after the tragedy strikes those characters so close to all of our hearts.

Poor Melanie has been devastated clearly, week by agonizing week, whenever she attempts to assert herself and the love she so plainly feels. Punished for her sins of omission, and for loving so openly in such an "unseemly" manner, her heart is torn asunder by the graphic infidelity of the man she so desperately yearns for. In her heart Alex belongs to her, the boy she so frenziedly feels for, and he will one day notice her dazzling blue eyes, and winning smiles.

Yet what she witnessed last Wednesday has created a frisson of fear in even this jaded writer's heart. The once bubbly and effervescent minx is now catatonic, shaking with rage, hurt, and confusion.

For she discovered the boy she so cared for so acutely, delivering a poem and rose to the doorstep of none other than Eslé. The sight of him with such trinkets warmed her heart until she saw him traipse not to her doorstep, but to that "wicked tramp" as her mother so often called Eslé. In shock she saw the radiant passion in his gaze as he tenderly delivered his parcel. Disbelieving what she had witnessed, she crept up to read the card as he bounded away. Crying in terror at he the blow she took and keening at the devastating evidence of his betrayal, she fainted.

Rationally he was never hers. She simply lived in a reality of her own making, based on fantasy, assumption, and blind worship. Truthfully it was the demise of her gullibility.

Though one might argue that it was about time, her obliviousness being a hindrance to her social interaction, the truth is that Melanie is only ten. Such worldliness should have eluded her far into her teen years when she was sexually taken advantage of on prom night.

Yumi too has had her share of heartache since moving to Grecian Hills from Yokohama, Japan. Living a life of fear, a prisoner in the home of social maven and resident curmudgeon, Shirley Abbelbaum, she has only herself and a stuffed animal to give her comfort. Developing an unhealthy lust for gangster Guido, from afar, she longs to be in his warm, strapping arms rather than her dank and lonely room.

Walking home from school one day, disillusioned from another horrific day in the American school system, she tripped over her own tears.

Her grasp of the English language, though sound, is not wholly fluent. Thus the intricacies of literature and poetry elude her. After an overwhelming day in English class involving pentameter, syllables, rhyming, and inflection, she is left downtrodden. Suddenly failure seems assured, and there have been no sparks of light in the downward spiral she finds herself being drawn into.

Under these stresses, she is unaware of the eyes upon her, or of the figure blocking her path. Wrapped up in her own woe, she literally walks into the individual. As she looks down, bravely swallowing any remaining tears, she realizes who it is. Bashfully keeping her head down, she takes in the characteristic scuffed forest green Doc Martens and black jeans of Guido Carluso, of the family Carluso.

"Oh excuse me," she finally uttered, shyly looking into his luminous dark eyes.

"Yumi, right?" He suavely managed.

"Oh, yes! Eh-to, how did you know?" She inquired.

"I keep tabs on all the beautiful girls in Grecian Hills," he responded.

Blushing prettily, she wrung her hands together both flattered and embarrassed by his comment.

"Thank you," she mumbled.

"You live with Crab Abbel, don't you?" He asked her.

"Wha--? Oh, hehehe, yes, I live with Auntie."

"She's a bitch, isn't she?"

"Yes, witch," Yumi innocently replied.

Guido chuckled at the unaffected charm of Yumi's limited experience with men. This was a girl he'd like to take on the back of his bike, and teach how to ride.

"If you ever get bored of living in her prison, you should give me a call sometime. I'll show you a real American welcome." He finally commented.

As the conversation continued, so did their friendliness toward each other. By the midst of their tête-à-tête, Yumi was warming to Guido's obvious regard. Unfortunately for her, this did not go unseen by a certain party.

Driving back from her Grecian Hills Ladies Flower League, Shirley Abbelbaum was finding fault with the city's landscaping job.

"Utter travesty that he's still employed," she huffed.

She started puffing up her chest in rage a mere two seconds later after viewing the scene played out between Yumi and Guido in the middle of the same park.

"That little harlot! A Japanese Jezebel!!" Shirley took in everything, from the coquettish glances, to Guido's growing excitement. Yumi was obviously making an ass of herself, and denigrating the charitable work that Shirley had done by taking her in to her home. It was a slap in the face, and repulsive watching as she veritably threw herself at Guido like a bitch in heat. Yumi's lack of decorum was reflecting poorly on herself, Grecian Hills High School, the exchange program, her family, and the entire country of Japan. It was disgraceful, thoroughly reprehensible in Shirley's opinion.

Disgrace was definitely what Avery was feeling at 5:00PM Friday afternoon. Taken to task by Vale for his extracurricular love affair, she told him that a man who couldn't keep it in his pants couldn't keep a job as far as she was concerned. His lack of ethics showed a lack of integrity, one that she wasn't willing to bet on in the high stakes world of corporate cosmetics. Too often trade secrets were slipped through greased palms and the cracks in characters alike.

Out of a job, and soon to be out of a wife, he was stunned at his sudden bad fortune.

For not only had Vale taken it upon herself to relieve him of a job after their meeting, she also took it upon herself to inform Jeanette of his goings on. Taking the stance of female solidarity under a banner of living through Bradley's betrayal she phoned Jeanette at the hospital to make a lunch appointment. Confused, yet her interest piqued by Vale's legacy, she accepted.

Two hours later, she had found her well of rage and began to throw out all of Avery's belongings onto the playground that had once been the stage to fantasies of their possible offspring. Calling a locksmith to take care of Avery's possible entrance into their broken home, and phoning her mother to let her in on his perfidy, she finally succumbed to the pain that she felt. Rocking back and forth, hugging herself, she screamed in terror, moaning at her idiotic love for such a cruel man.

Which leaves many of the women in Grecian Hills at a turning point in their lives. Where to go now that those they cared for most are no longer in their designated spots? How to cope with such horrific betrayal? What will the do next? Will they ever be able to forgive, let alone forget?

Find out next week...

Week Six:

A strange calm overtook Grecian Hills in the stunning aftermath of Melanie Roundtree's declaration. It lasted all of five minutes.

Given the time constraints of the engrossing case, Alex had to put the wooing of Madame Eslé aside. Now fully committed aside from his schoolwork at Grecian Hills Polytechnic, he started by sending Eslé a poem and a single red rose, the exact shade of his famed red sneakers.

Picture of Alex's sneakers

Click here to see Alex's poem to Eslé

Eslé however, has her own dilemma in her romantic life. In addition to Alex, she now has the pastor to contend with. Disgusted by his bloated appearance and loathsome desire for her, she is left to her wiles to escape his clutches. For the pastor hasn't been as forthcoming about his past as the elders might have appreciated. It seems there was a small Oklahoma town which would quite like to meet him again...with a rope in their hands to greet him. Someone seems to have forgotten to remind the pastor that summer bible school, naked limbs, and young children don't mesh in the lord's grand plan.

The Pastor attempts to take Eslé into his fold

However, these furtive facts lurk in the pastor's past not in the citizen's collective consciousness. Is his past history? Is Eslé at risk? Will someone discover his secrets in time to intervene?

As for Melanie, shocked by Alex's dismissal, and her mother's ensuing anger, she has been grounded for an undetermined length of time. Angie, Melanie's mother, has even ceased her daughter's letter writing campaign to win Alex's heart. Her father too, was appalled at his daughter's loose actions in her feeble efforts to woo Alex. Writing scathing notes, the tone too angry and direct for even Melanie to misunderstand, he told her:

Click here to see Beau's note

Beau, enraged, still remains ignorant to his wife's affair with Avery. Her excuses ranging from the Church Bake Sale Committee to nursing her friend Luanne through a rough divorce, though unconvincing at best, do nothing to enlighten her husband.

However, the juicy gossip is at the other side of town in the Soddenfeld Mansion, where three unhappy people have been residing. A veritable viper pit, the toxicity level is about to explode with the poisonous venom Bradley, Vivien, and Vale are producing within.

Vale, realizing that her hatred for Bradley weighs more than any petty squabble, asks Juliana Blanco, her former best friend (read bitter foe), to assist her in her covert and sinister revenge plot. A former sorority sister, only Juli has the power to seduce unsuspecting Bradley with evil. For she was the elusive dalliance he always attempted, and would never suspect that Vale would enlist her to bring him to his knees.

Ah, speaking of sinister plots. Poor Mayor Coen O'Connor is still haunted by the accidental death of Lucas. For it seems that Coen relies on the Carluso crime family for more than the occasional campaign contribution. Two weeks previous to Lucas' meeting with the grille of Coen's car, the Carlusos paid Mayor O'Connor a small visit, asking him to assist in a small job, in exchange for their silence regarding his wee drug predilection. Willing to face public defamation rather than commit murder, he refused. Ironically he still managed to fulfill the Carluso's wishes. Thus, it seems Coen is a tad bit troubled by the events of last week. Needless to say that though he refused, his actions may still be construed as a devious plan rather than divine bad luck.

As for the reasoning for Lucas' planned demise, it seems he had been quite interested in the Carlusos, yet he made the mistake of asking the wrong woman about their business. The girlfriend of the mysterious "godfather" happened to be a longtime conquest of Lucas, and was a tad more loyal to her longtime benefactor than the pasty-faced cabana boy. (No one ever truly understood how a cabana boy could be so intensely pale.)

"Pale," such an apt title for Claudette's memoirs, as she lives a shadow of the life she might lead. Still recuperating from that tremendous breach of trust by her mother, she's realizing that though she owes Pedro an apology, perhaps looking at him in a sexual way is a mistake. Deciding that her enforced solitude may not be the correct way to handle life, she has continued to put her nonexistent romantic life on hold to do some very necessary thinking and growing.

Looking to her music for solace, her growth as a performer during this tremulous time has been exponential. Finally allowing pain to exist within rather than deny hatred, anger, and hurt that has festered for so long. However, her newfound development has made her the target of many a heated gaze by her reclusive neighbor.

Which leads us to the introduction of our latest citizen of Grecian Hills. The reclusive neighbor is none other than Dr. Orion Renard. The Belgian native, a surgeon specializing in orthopedics, is a brooding bundle of energy, and as like attracts like, he was instantly drawn to Claudette's intense gazes. New in town and disdainful of the frivolity, he knows of his outward worth, yet yearns for someone to inspire him within.

Will Claudette be such a muse? Will Orion's skill be put to the test, should Claudette fall...in love? What will time hold for this passionate woman? Is happiness on the horizon? Does it involve an incandescent luminary named Orion?

Coming soon...

Yumi takes a stand against her captivity and makes herself known to the residents of Grecian Hills, and more privately to one specific citizen...

Find out how Shirley Abblebaum reacts to her mutiny...

Will Claudette notice her newest neighbor?

How will Pedro react to his online lovers abandonment?

Will Coen face his drug habit?

All this and more...
 

Week Five:

It is frightening as usual in the dark alleyways of Grecian Hills. Of late who would dare walk the streets unaccompanied, or for that matter how do you know you can trust your companion? Two deaths in a matter of months. High profile suspects, intrigue, and two confused investigators. It's the stuff of legends.

However, the cataclysmic meeting between besotted Melanie, and aloof Alex, boy genius, remains vital to this week's episode.

One is reminded of a childhood rhyme, reworked to fit this particular scenario:
Alex and Melanie sitting in her room. M - E - E - T - I - N - G!! First comes glee! Then comes confusion! Then come some answers and a possible conclusion!

At first Melanie simply stared in frenzied joy at the boy she so adores. Disbelieving the sight that she beheld, she nearly fainted from the strain of taking in the long drink of water that was Alex. Luckily she was able to contain her excitement, and her lunch, to conduct the following conversation, allowing us, the readers to finally learn the truth, undisguised by any manipulations based on business savvy, unbridled passion, or revenge. For Melanie has neither the capacity nor the alacrity for any of those things.

As previously noted, Melanie answered the door tongue-tied, with both fear and love in her eyes, and almost faint in her excitement. Emitting a strange piercing shriek, "ennnnnhhhhh!!!" Alex nearly bolts on the spot.

Recovering himself he says in his most regal way,

"Melanie, Hello. Let me first ask you not to misinterpret my visit. It has nothing to do with those inane letters you have been sending me, which I have asked you to cease. No, I'm here to talk about something you may have seen, something that may be of the utmost importance to the whole of our community. The very foundation of justice that bolsters Grecian Hills may be at stake!"

Melanie, suddenly realizing by the big words she had no way of making up, that this is NOT a dream begins to jump up and down in dumbfounded glee,

"Alex!!! You're HERE! OOOHHH!"

Apprehensively our local boy genius (ever leery of this particular female) began,

"Yes. I am here. Quite right. Now, if you'll allow me to just get to the subject. Janni has died in mysterious circumstances, as you're undoubtedly aware. In fact, Herr Kleinpimmel and I strongly suspect he has been murdered!"

Confused by the number of syllables in his diatribe, Melanie tries to act interested, yet cannot resist what was on her mind whilst watching his mouth move,

"Murdered? Hmm? Ohhh it IS nice that you're here. I like your hair. I wrote a poem about it once."

Trying to contain his straying wits, Alex, ever mindful, carries on,

"Ehhh thank you, I think. Now please be quiet you for a moment you silly girl while I attempt to explain my presence. As I implied, it's about Janni's murder."

Remembering her inner coquette and her manners, Melanie demurely states,

"Would you like some tea, Alex? Your mouth is lovely. I bet you kiss nice."

Alex, fully irritated by Melanie's obtuseness, ventures on bringing forth an evidence bag with several gum wrappers found at the scene of the crime. Previously thought to be Pedro Carluso's frequent calling card, the crime didn't fit other aspects of his Modus Operandi, and thus was a source of contention for the fearless duo, Dieter and Alex.

"Melanie please CONCENTRATE for a moment, will you? Janni has been murdered and I have reason to believe you may have seen something. Witness these gum wrappers; the exact same brand that I believe you to be chewing right now. We found these near the murder scene, at the corner of 13th and Rosewood, close to Johnson's toy store. Now, are these yours? Don't try to lie to me."

Looking like a cat with chickadee feathers stuffed haphazardly from her mouth, rather than noxious pink gum residue, Melanie gulped and swallowed said gum. Faking a choking fit, a purple-faced Melanie screamed in terror,

"OOOOooohhhhh NO!!!! I'm a litterbug! You CAN'T tell MOMMY!!! You won't, will you? Please, no Alex!! She can never find out!!"

Sensing an opening in her dense mind, Alex allays her fears for his own gain,

"Your mother won't hear a thing, IF you now tell me exactly what you saw the day Janni died and don't leave out one little thing. Even if you think it's not important, please tell me, for your judgment isn't sound in that department."

Furrowing her small pasty brow in concentration, she hazards a guess,

Well, is it about the nice man who fell?"

Sensing an end to the mystery Alex keeps his head cool while replying,

"Yes, he fell! Did you see it?"

Unwilling to let a singular chance pass her by, Melanie proves that in one department she's as cool-headed and intelligent as the rest of the females on the planet,

"I'll tell you if you come in. I have tea. I'll pour you a cup."

Diffident about the option he finds himself taking, he has little choice as Melanie exhibits rare strength for her age, and pulls him inside, locking the door,

"Oh all right. I'll have some tea, but then you must tell me. Really!"

Scampering off to find the porcelain teapot she so proudly shows off (it's from England she reminds him from the kitchen), she pours him a cup,

"Oh this is nice. You can come by more often and we can drink tea! We'll be like a married couple."

Alex is taken aback by her frightfully vivid imagination, but continues nonetheless,

"Now, Melanie. You said you'd tell me. What exactly, did you see on that fateful day?" Alex asks.

"I, I, I just wanted to help the little baby pigeon. He was so sad. He looked sad and he was all fluffy!" (She pronounced pigeon like pijun, the way Alex was sure she would manage to spell it were she given half the chance.)

A frustrated Alex, nearly choking on the bitter liquid, sternly urges her to continue with her story,

Unsure of where this was going, Alex replies,

"Yes, and then?"

Melanie looks at Alex with large innocent eyes, as if the story is rather boring, but as it seems to interest him, she'll indulge his fancy,

"The nice man was just standing and looking sad. I can't climb. So I asked him to put the baby back in the tree. You see the baby pigeon fell. He climbed it for me. And then he fell down! I ran to get someone to help. That's what mommy told me to do if anything happens. I always do what mommy says, well, not if I really really don't want to but I'm a good girl really!"

Hot on the trail of the murderer, Alex responds,

"How did he look when you left him?"

Smiling, Melanie says,

"He was lying down, he looked asleep -- like mommy after a night at the casino. I couldn't find anyone to help and I came back. The police were there, so it was ok. I went home and played dolls. Would you like to see my dolls?"

In shock and horror at the depths of Melanie's idiocy, the sudden clarity of the "murder" scene, Alex jumps up and uncharacteristically shouts,

"So he climbed a tree and fell down by himself? BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ANYONE? THIS IS LIFE AND DEATH WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH FEAR YOU'VE CAUSED THE PEOPLE OF THIS COMMUNITY, FEARING THERE'S A MURDERER LOOSE? YOU... YOU... GIRL!"

With tears in her eyes and a confused look on her face, she watches the man she loves berate her, obviously unhappy with something she has done, and finally croaks,

"But, he was okay. He said 'Thank you God.' He looked so peaceful. Please don't shout at me." (She quivers and bites her lip as she's seen her mother do when the credit card statements come in the mail, and her father gives her a rather heated look.)

Silently seething, and forcing himself to calm down for the stupid child,

"Alright, Melanie. I'm sorry I shouted. But you should have TOLD someone, for crying out loud! I can't believe... It's just too much... Even for YOU."

Confused again Melanie states,

"And I told you now, didn't I? I like you. Would you like me to tell you more things? I saw a frog yesterday on the garden path! It was green with little brown spots!"

Holding his throbbing head in his hands, Alex looks to the door. Exasperated and quietly he declares,

"No, Melanie, you've told me quite enough. I'm going now, but you'll have to repeat what you've told me to the police later. Just pray they don't arrest you for withholding evidence."

Hoping to detain him for a bit longer Melanie asks,

"Do you go to church Alex? I like church. You should come with me. I'll wear a pretty dress. I'll come by Sunday morning at nine and you can walk me there."

Having enough of her madness, Alex unlocks the front door and bolts.

So once again Grecian Hills is safe, well, unless you plan on streaking through traffic anytime soon. However the community leaders assure us that no matter what town one lives in, that sort of behavior only leads to bad things, death being a byproduct of any "bad" thing.

Lucas is dead, leaving a crowd of unfulfilled women at his wake, Janni's murder has finally solved, all leaving the citizens of Grecian Hills to wonder what other scandals live in the depths of their city's soul. Pedro, growing lenient in his crime duties, is seen having a late night dinner with Mayor O'Connor. What is their link anyhow? Is it as innocent as they say? Were they really in the same yachting club during the turbulent high school days? Or is it something more sinister?

No matter that Pedro is no longer the depraved individual he once seemed to Claudette, he is still a criminal. Will she lose her senses if she ever falls into his arms? Or will Claudette finally strike out on her own, with her head held high, taking the world that could be so captivated by her, by storm?

Coming soon...

Angie and her indiscretions may finally be revealed to trusting Beau...

A new doctor arrives...

Once the closest ally to Vale Soddenfeld, now a bitter enemy, another Grecian Hills refugee arrives to assist Vale with her machinations...

Eslé finds yet another suitor, yet this one is not someone she is able to dismiss as easily as she would like...

All this and more...

Week Four:

Oh you naysayers have a lot of nerve. So, Grecian Hills is too formulaic, eh? We're driving ourselves with far too much Nitrous and adrenaline? We're going to crash and burn with such intense storylines? "She canna take much more cap'n?"

If you've agreed with any of the previous drivel, then you don't know Grecian Hills.

Weeks ago we alluded to the appearance of Lucas the cabana boy. A stealth citizen, little have we known about his true self. Seemingly beyond approach, he fancies himself a Casanova among so many fumbling fools. However, his tainted mind has finally gone too far. For last week, in a blaze of orgasmic glory he shared his self with several females, only to be caught by one woman's husband. Streaking across the streets he was finally hit by a car, driven by none other than Mayor O'Connor. The ambulance too late to save his beleaguered and naked form, leaves a stricken Coen at the scene. The Mayor, shocked by both the streaking citizen, his part in the ultimate death of said citizen, and what this might mean for his career, dissolved into tears. However, though Lucas may be dead, his legacy will certainly live on, among so many indiscrete citizens.

Speaking of public indecency, just as Alex and Dieter suspected, Stefan's public declaration was little more than a stunt to cultivate the waning mystery and excitement in his love affair. Fearing that the electricity that they'd once shared with his lover was gone, Stefan played up to the hysteria, craving the attention he had once garnered in Hollywood.

"Scandal sells," he said to the Grecian Hills Gazette.

"I was bored, I wanted more customers. So what if I had to put on orange for a few days. IT WAS WORTH IT. I have so many cut and colors I'm beside myself. It's glorious!"

His mistreatment of justice has left him with an enormous fine he plans on paying incrementally (which he assures the press is pittance compared to the business it has garnered), and it has left the town with a murderer still on the loose. Will Alex and Dieter ever find the clue that will prove the killer's identity beyond a shadow of a doubt? Will people grow lax in their paranoia with such a drawn-out case?

Just when the writers were starting to worry on how to discover the thread in the tapestry of resolution, an overlooked piece of evidence... Perhaps some of you will recall that Pedro was a suspect because of the infamous detail of gum wrappers being left at the scene. However, Pedro being wrapped in infallibility and not brazen enough to dabble in death by daylight, wasn't given a second thought by our crime-fighting duo. If Pedro didn't kill Janni, who did? (Obviously the question on all of our minds.) However, a better question might be, if the killer didn't leave the gum wrappers, who did? Was there a witness to this horrible crime? If so, why have they not come forward?

Alex, acting on a hunch, and with much apprehension, approached his suspected witness.

Our boy genius, besieged by the attentions of young Melanie, had tried to deny her growing interest in him. Rebuffing her attention, he had done a preliminary check on who she was, her personal circumstances, etc, as much as it disgusted him. One thing that he had noticed was her girlish interests, note writing, dolls, boys, and perfecting the art of blowing bubbles with her pink, smelly gum. The stench permeated her infantile writings. How to approach her? For to go to her house would be just the thing she'd be driven to madness for; she'd positively explode in an exothermic reaction of young love. Could Alex handle the weight of her crush in the confines of her girlish abode? Knowing that he might be the only one Melanie would open up to, he grimaced as he made the ultimate sacrifice and walked to her home. Melanie just might be the link that he and Dieter have been seeking all along.

Thus, where does this leave our loyal fans? And more importantly, what about Vale?

Ah yes, the last time we saw Vale it was flat on her back, assaulted by the sight of Bradley and Vivien. How did she handle them after losing her infamous composure?

For years she has entertained the fantasy of having Bradley back in her realm, in order to sort him out, and rend him to pieces with her controlled revenge. Her fainting spell was the culmination of all of her anger erupting into one white-hot flurry of anger and excitement realized. Her moment for vengeance had come.

Her plan was quickly modified to include her sister, Vivien. A perfect dupe and decoy for her intricately woven plot, her venom will strike the hearts of both of those she had cared for so long ago. For Vale had ceased caring for Viv years ago, after she had comprehended that her mirror image was little more than a cipher within her soul, a cheap imitation of what a person could be. Always weak, and prone to fits of jealous sickly desperation, she was the epitome of all things that Vale disrespects in human beings.

Ah, but my fair friends this is not the end of this week's declarations. For, what of Pedro and Claudette? Of Eslé?

Claudette recently learning that all her preconceived hatred was hollow, has begun the difficult task of making amends. Continuing her depravity online with Pedro, lustily seeking his amorous attention, and now open to a new dynamic in her relationship to both the corporeal and cyber man, will she find happiness in her former enemy's arms? This week, expect her to open both his door and his heart, when she apologizes for her past injustices.

As for our morally challenged menial maven, Eslé, her cruel treatment of boy genius, Alex, has left him to plot her undoing. Knowing his heart to be pure, and his lust true, he has begun to plot her enlightenment to both his mental and his physical prowess. Will he embarrass himself or will this resident intellect prove everyone wrong?

Ah, but fair ones, I cannot tell you more. For as our naysayers will continue on, we must hold back some factoids for another episode...

Week Three:

Ah, the long awaited funeral episode. Difficult developments in mortuary science have kept you in suspense for longer than we had anticipated. However so many things have happened that the writers, to be fair needed time to stew on how best to present the alarming occurrences. In fact, we're still reeling.

Who could have suspected that the murderer would confess, AT the event to mourn their victim's passing? (Well to be fair, Alex and Dieter were on hand just in case such an audacious move was made. Hot on the trail of the elusive assassin, they knew that anyone brazen enough to kill in daylight might just be bold enough to defile a church service.) Who knew that Eslé would react so severely, as only she can be, to Alex's attention. Such heartless vindictive retorts shouldn't be directed at such innocent genius. This all fails to mention the further jolt of two long lost Grecian Hills refugees turning up at Vale's unsuspecting door.

However, we digress, on with the exposition, then the explanation.

The church was filled to capacity with the loud and questing town residents, all anticipating fireworks from the suspects that sat near the coffin. The rumors about Janni's sex were confirmed for all to see during the viewing, as the church disallows gender bending within its walls. However it was the events that transpired both during and after the funeral rites that have caused citizens to be wary of not only strangers, but their best friends as well.

The funeral commenced with the organ, flowers, and somber overtone appropriate for such a dismal event, even the peanut gallery bowed their heads in silent homage to the dead. However, no one could stifle their giggles at the questionable handling of Janni's gender.

Click here for an example of the pastor's gender confusion

Recognized for his irreverent style, the pastor obviously found the sordid tale of sex, murder, and lies entertaining. In that same vein, the congregation was disturbed to find that rather than go for her normal fare of sleazy and provocative songs, Claudette honored Janni's memory with her honest and sincere rendition of the church classic, "Amazing Grace." Both her musical selection and her rarely expressed innocence brought tears to the scandal hungry masses.

Claudette's shocking performance

It was only after the shock of Claudette's performance diminished and the pastor began his lofty eulogy (treading lightly with unspecific gender pronouns), that the masses were appeased and received what they had dressed so carefully in somber hues for. Who would have suspected that the murderer was none other than famous stylist to the stars, and recent Grecian Hills resident, Stefan Luis Caron? Alex and Dieter were visibly stunned (for their clues had not led them to Stefan's doorway), and he made his loud and savory declaration. Not to be outdone, they ran in a fit of justice-driven haste and accosted Stefan before he could make his escape.

He called out:

"I KILLED JANNI! I CAN'T STAND THE BURDEN OF SHAME AND REGRET ANYMORE!!! I never meant to! I just couldn't help myself!

"You see, I commented on his...HER lustrous locks. Janni was always sensitive; I just couldn't stop myself. She made a pass at me, I was offended, and I'm taken. EVERYone knows that! I-I-I knew that she had a sensitivity to her hairline, so I said it, I admit it! 'What are you hiding Janni. That hair...it can't be a man's hair. Were you switched at birth?'

"Janni was angry, she struck out at me. I had to defend myself. My words slung like arrows pierced her lying heart, and I struck her with my scissors. I stabbed her and now she's dead. Now we know the truth; it's my fault. I killed Janni. Please, punish me for my sins. I can't be a hair stylist knowing that I broke my moral code."

After his silence-inducing soliloquy, a now sobbing Stefan was escorted to the city jail by several haughty police officers, where they left a frenzied crowd and a bemused crime-fighting duo in their wake.

Later that week, Vale vindicated by Stefan's public confession, left Rectify early only to be overwhelmed by the sight of both her long lost twin sister and former fiancée sharing coffee in her breakfast nook. Uncharacteristically fainting, she was chilled to the core to see their disinterested eyes gazing into her bewildered ones.

Sadly, we have not learned the full details of their first painful meeting. However, it has been reported that Vale did not return to work the next day, due to illness, an event that no one could recall occurring at Rectify Beauty Corporation ever before. Just what transpired that afternoon, is anyone's guess.

Lastly, though the case of Janni Geldenhuis' homicide seems closed to Grecian Hills, Alex and Dieter remain unconvinced. Do they know something we don't? What evidence leads them to believe that Janni's killer remains free? Why did Stefan confess?

Additionally, why have Bradley and Vivien returned after so many years? To what ends? Will Vale lose her grip with reality?

Find out next week...

Week Two:

For a precious few of you out there, a minute hint was all it took to understand the ramifications of Janni's murder. Janni, as he was mentioned as a masseuse, rather than the gender appropriate "masseur" was a FEMALE. This shocking detail quaked the town, as the coroner's report was made official. A vendetta of lesbian lust gone horribly wrong? A misunderstanding? Just who was Janni, and how was she able to keep her secret so successfully?

Things do not look good for Pedro, as his signature gum wrappers were left at the scene, however, was this merely a clever ploy by Vale? Her stormy exit from the company picnic still makes her a key suspect. How will Dieter solve this case without potential harm to himself? What mayhem will the Carluso family manufacture for the citizens of Grecian Hills. Is anyone safe?

Claudette, frenzied by her late night debauchery online, decides to seek out the male populace of Grecian Hills, to discover the only man capable of fulfilling her desires. Only he knows her fantasies, but will she discover the truth? Will another man be endowed with the prowess of her late night cyber companion? Will Claudette find completion merely learn to fake it?

Meanwhile, Jeanette begins to grow lonely with the solitary nights spent at the claustrophobic condominium she shares with Avery. In a fit of resignation, and hoping for companionship she takes Dr. Letcher's offer for dinner. Shocked by his familiarity at the end of the evening, she fails to notice Avery in a torrid embrace with Angie in the housing development playground.

The investigation continues as Dieter teams up with amorous Alex to search for Janni's killer. Perhaps someone other than Grecian Hills' resident vixen, Vale knew of Janni's true gender. A former flame? A disgusted homophobic? The search continues, and the answer is sure to shock the fans of the show.

Melanie, the child borne of Angie and Beau, is having a tough time with her immoral mama, and cuckolded father. Adapting to her mother's mania, she develops a large crush on Alex, boy genius. A child of ten, in both body and mind, Melanie has no chance to hold the interest of such an advanced student of the female sex.

Coming Soon...

The man who jilted Vale so despicably so many years ago, shows up on her doorstep, with a woman Vale never expected to see ever again. How will Vale cope with such a traumatic blow, especially when she's already under investigation for the murder she claims she didn't commit?

We are introduced to the mayor of our fair town. With a shady past and possible ties to the IRA and the gun trade, has Grecian Hills fallen prey to the destructive corruption rife in all political circles?

Eslé finds herself with yet another suitor...who will play a key part in next week's funeral services for the mysterious masseuse.

Expect Lucas, the cabana boy, to make an earth shattering appearance...

Week One:

Things are beginning to heat up in the inaugural season of Grecian Hills.

Claudette is a lonely girl and she has finally found true happiness with an online companion. Late into the night she satisfies herself with his words and his * actions * -- little does she know that her online compadre is none other than her neighbor the mobster underling, Pedro.

Eslé however, has discovered that she's been scoped out as a stalking target by boy genius Alexander Rorschach. Only eleven years old, his I.Q. is off the charts, and so is his lust for the lovely Eslé. Forgoing the chance at stardom at an elite Ivy League institution, Alex enrolls in Grecian Hills Polytechnic to be closer to his ladylove.

However, not all is right at the Rectify Beauty Corporation. After a disastrous affair with her masseuse, Vale Soddenfeld leaves the company picnic with revenge on her mind.

Two hours later his body is found battered and broken on the street corner near office headquarters...

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